Pure Slush

flash ... without the wank

6 Tips ... on Anything

 

Special Brew  >

Pure Slush turned 6 years old in December 2016 ... writers were asked to submit 6 tips on anything ... absolutely anything at all. Find plenty of 6 tips below ...

 

Six Sage-like Tips on Living

by Garth Pettersen

 

1. Focus on that which makes you strong and caring.

2. Seek to understand everything (you won’t, but it’s the process that counts).

3. Question, question, question. Sooner or later you get answers (and more questions).

4. Don’t spend time thinking about yourself; focus outward.

5. Choose and commit (you may have to re-evaluate later, but that will be after you gave it everything).

6. Rediscover each day the beauty--it’s there, LOOK--and the beautiful people in your life.

 

 

6 Tips on Personal Writing Rules for Fiction Writers

by Beatrice Preti

 

1. Use beautiful words, and make them flow.

2. If you’re bored, they’re bored.

3. Be invested, but not too invested. Give your characters space to breathe.

4. Divorce your stories on the second edit. Treat them objectively, not subjectively, as if you are reading someone else’s work.

5. Take a break, and try something new. Look for a new genre, a new prompt, a new style of writing. No writing is ever wasted.

6. Read, read, read, read, READ! And don’t be afraid to critique the work of others; it will help you critique your own work.

 

 

6 tips on marketing your self-published book

by David Ralph Lewis

 

1. Be active on social media. Don’t just endlessly spam your book, engage with different conversations. Make book marketing personal!

2. Get a professional to design your cover. If the book is a romance novel, make sure they include archaic runes, a dragon, headshots of the cast of Saved by the Bell: The New Class and kittens. If it’s a fantasy novel, add two dragons.

3. Know your audience. Know who they are, what things they like to read and watch. Know the bars they hang out at. Know where they live. Know what their diary says, the one they keep in the locked drawer. Know the sound their breathing makes in the darkened room as you stand in the shadows, watching them. You need this information for marketing!

4. Seek out the old woman who roams the moor at night, moaning to herself in a strange tongue unlike any other language you have ever heard, ancient words not heard on the earth for millennia. Others claim to be deaf to her guttural groans, but you hear her every night, don’t you? Seek her out. You know where to find her. Cross her palm with silver but do not look her directly into her eyes. She’s a PR manager and can probably help you out.

5. Give up and start drinking. Drink heavily for most of the evening. Meet a man who claims he knows some people in a newspaper and he can get you a cheap advert for your book. Be suspicious, but go along with it because you’re drunk. Go to an ATM. Get out most of your life savings for ‘advertising’. Wake up the next day and regret what you have done. Call the number he has given you over and over, only for it to go to voicemail every time. Check the newspaper every day, hoping that an advert for your book will appear. It never does. Keep checking for weeks. Gradually stop buying the newspaper. Gradually lose hope. Avoid social situations. Retreat into yourself. Spend your days cursing your stupidity. Vow never to drink again. Drink anyway. See that same man in a different bar, years later. He’s happy. He’s laughing. Feel the rage boil in your veins, uncontrollable, like the hurt was only yesterday. Start a fight with him. Ignore his pleas for help. Realise, too late, it is the wrong person. Look at your bloodied fists. Exit into the night, into the cold, into the unknown future.

6. Have you tried advertising online? It’s cheap and effective!

 

 

6 tips to make mother earth a better place to live

by Zuha Belgaumi

 

1. Plant more trees

2. Save water and opt for Rain water harvesting

3. Use public transport

4. Reduce, Recycle and Reuse

5. Take your own bag for shopping

6. Restrict printouts, else use both sides of paper

 

 

Six Tips on the Appearance of Wisdom ~

(Limerick Variations on a Traditional Verse)

by Ken Gosse

 

Tip 1: Keep Your Eyes Wide Open ~

A wise old owl sat in an oak.

The more he heard, the less he spoke.

“Open ears and large eyes,

He must truly be wise.

We should all be wrapped in such a cloak.”

 

Tip 2: Don’t Take the Bait ~

A wise old fish swam in a pond,

And was silent until from beyond,

A hook hit the water.

He now knows he aughter

Have kept his mouth shut and not yawned.

 

Tip 3: Take it Easy ~

A wise old ant rested one day,

And decided that’s where he would stay,

So he sat many years,

And he got many cheers

From the fools who sought Wisdom that way.

 

Tip 4: Volume Fools Many ~

An old wise ass stood in the way,

Making sure all would hear what he’d say.

He brayed very loud

And swayed much of the crowd,

But the wisest ones just heard the bray.

 

Tip 5: Don’t Let On ~

A wise old maid gathered no moss,

For she rolled with the punches they’d toss,

But because of her age

Some thought she was a sage,

Though she knew that her wisdom was dross.

 

Tip 6: Elevate Above the Crowd ~

An wise old man sat in an oak.

Some said, “What a very wise bloke!”

Others said, “That’s absurd.

He’s a looney old bird.”

When the tree fell, none heard if he spoke.

 

 

6 tips from Aunt Marion

by Allan J. Wills

 

1. Play music, especially at times when you feel emotions most intensely. When you make love for the first time, or when you dance at the joy of learning that you and your partner are expecting a child. Later, when you hear that music you will remember what love is.

2. Put aside prejudice when you meet a stranger. There will come a time when everyone is a stranger.

3. Practice kindness so that your trust will be rewarded with kindness. One day you will be totally dependent on the kindness of others.

4. Speak gently of people, you can only know them in part. As you age, you will know even less of them and your tongue will be inclined to take on a life of its own.

5. Forgive readily. Never let the sun set without resolving contention.

6. Have faith. Remember the trials of Job and his reward.

 

 

6 Tips on How to Get Fat

by Jolan Sulinski

 

1. Eat, eat, eat. Seems obvious, but this is key! Don’t worry too much about what or when. Just keep on stuffing that beautiful pie hole of yours. 


2. Do NOT exercise. Besides burning those precious extra calories you need, you’ll be creating muscle instead of fat. Park that butt on the couch. 


3. Surround yourself with supportive fat allies. Eat together in front of the t.v. as often as possible. 


4. Eat fast. If you eat too slowly, you may start to feel full and leave food behind. Big no-no! 


5. Booze is your friend. It contains a large number of delicious empty calories, with the added bonus of making you lethargic (see tip number 2). 


6. Always have food within reach. Besides being a constant reminder of your goal, having a constant supply of snacks on hand will help you attain it. Good luck! 


 

 

6 Tips on Cutting Short a Blind Date for Cocktails after Work

by Paul Beckman

 

1. Tell her she almost looks like her picture. Ask her to suck in her cheeks and uncross her eyes.

2. Your profile says you’re into S & M. Wrong profile? Well you never know until you try.

3. Whether you meet at the bar or a table take the initiative and order for the two of you. Something on the order of “two double Knob Creek Bourbons up with a short beer back”. If that doesn’t do it repeat the order but switch from Bourbon to Tequila.

4. Ask the bartender for a couple of maraschino cherries and tell her you can tie the stem in a knot using only your tongue. Ask her what tricks she can do with her tongue.

5. Work into the conversation that you hate kids and cats but love Dobermans and Pit Bulls.

6. Before drinking, clink glasses and toast to “the walk of shame”.

 

 

6 Tips for Creating a One-of-a-Kind Blog

by Erica Nichols

 

1. Find a blogsite that looks appealing and user-friendly. When you register with your email and find out that you are, in fact, already registered but have long-forgotten your username and/or password, or you find the title of your old blog to be superiorly stupid, you should create yet a new email account that you will, undoubtedly, never use.

2. Think of a clever title for your blog. It will be in use, but you may, upon feeling resigned, add ten random digits to the end of the title. If you are feeling ambitious, you will see that every other clever title will also be in use. Banal titles will also be in use. You should resort to a superiorly stupid one.

3. Choose an attractive layout. The one that you really like costs money and you’re cheap. Moving on…

4. Create an “About Me” page. You will realize that you have nothing interesting to say about yourself because you’re modest and uninteresting. You should save this page for a point of time in the distant future when you will have already forgotten about your blog.

5. Consider the content of your first post. All of the ideas that came to you in the shower have suddenly slipped through your sieve of a mind and you are left staring at a blank page with a blinking curser. You should remember to shave your knees next time.

6. Shut down your computer. You will never again find the time, energy, or creativity to dedicate to your blog. You should utilize your new email account to create a fake identity and remain anonymous online.

 

 

6 Tips to Start Loving Yourself

by Cathy Zhang

 

1. Drink Water. To grow, you have to hydrate. Even those prickly, independent cacti need water from time to time.

2. Slip into your comfiest sweater. Wrap yourself in the warmest, softest blanket that you’ve had since you were three. Soak in the feeling of comfort and know that one day, you’ll feel the same way in nothing but your bare skin.

3. Maybe you suck at poetry, but write yourself a love poem anyway. Maybe you’re tonedeaf, but you love singing so dedicate a love song to yourself, one that only you will wear. Leave little stick notes with cute messages all over your house. You can be your own pick-me-up.

4. Stop hating the sound of your own voice. You don’t have to sound like a siren – it’s not your job to sing men to their deaths.

5. Turn one “what if” into a story to tell. Strike up a conversation with that lady in the green feathered fedora. Take a detour on your way home. You don’t have to wait around for someone to write out your life. Act, don’t react.

6. Realize that you’re human, so you’re trying and you’re changing. That stranger you see in the mirror everyday only wants to be your friend. Let them. You’ll realize how easy it will be, once you learn that they’ve been here your whole life and will stay by your side for even longer.

 

 

6 Tips on Avoiding Sickness During Winter (Or Anytime, Really)

by Laura Widener

 

1. Wash your hands! After using the bathroom and after touching public doors or any other surface that many other (dirty) hands can touch. People use the bathroom or blow their noses without handwashing. Do you really want those germs?

2. Use the sanitizing wipes on shopping carts at the grocery store. Studies have found E-coli and other bacteria on shopping carts. Ew.

3. Sanitize often with wipes and hand sanitizer. Wipe down doorknobs and surfaces at home. A clean home is a happy home! Hands should be sanitized after touching germy objects or surfaces. You can’t spread the germs if you get rid of them!

4. Don’t touch your face or mouth area, food, or another person unless your hands are clean. Just rinsing with water isn’t enough; wash those puppies with soap or sanitizer.

5. Handle food properly. Store it at the right temperatures so it doesn’t grow harmful bacteria. Don’t leave dinner out for more than 2 hours. Throw away uneaten leftovers after a few days. Remember: when it doubt, throw it out.

6. Wash and clean anything you bring into your home that was—or could’ve been—touched by many others. That apple from the grocery store may look delicious, but the bacteria living on its waxy surface will call your mouth a new home unless you wash it.

 

 

6 tips on looking pretty for the end of the world

by Nathan Smith

 

1. The end of the world is a once in a lifetime occasion. Splash-out and dress-up.

2. Tone is important. Ensure your make-up is not waterproof in order to capture the true terror of the moment in the running of your mascara.

3. Be practical. Heels are lovely accessories for evening events but can impede the wearer when fleeing from the oncoming destruction.

4. Go retro. You may be unable to upload your cutest apocalyptic selfies amidst the inevitable power outages so try taking classy Polaroid snaps instead.

5. It’s all about the summer palette. With all the soot, ash, and never-ending night, bright colours are sure to make you stand out.

6. Smile. Even in Hell, a smile is always in fashion.

 

 

Six Tips (from a New Zealander)

by Alex Robertson

 

1. Make sure your bed is made (don’t rely on Crowded House song lyrics to sway your mind).

2. Hydrate yourself (unlike the efforts of the Beached Az whale…) to make sure you are not parched.

3. Do not at any time say “Did the Earth move for you too?” as it may trigger a panic attack about earthquakes.

4. In every person there is a beautiful and an ugly side: The same director of “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy also directed “Meet the Feebles”; sometimes it is better to leave the innuendo out of it…

5. Pronunciation of anything is difficult when eating. Remember your manners and don’t speak when your mouth is full.

6. If you think New Zealanders speak dirty, you’re not hearing things, it’s just a vowel shift. Keep your mind clean!

 

 

Six Tips

by Carl ‘Papa’ Palmer

 

Not to tip his hand,

Tyler tiptoes

to the tip of an iceberg

tipping his top hat

with the tip of his tongue

without toppling Tippecanoe’s tip jar.

 

 

6 Tips for Living

by Abha Iyengar

 

1. Look only for the good things in whatever you do. Don’t find fault.

“Yeah, you did that so right!”

2. Move outwards, out of your inner head space. Embrace another.”I love you, bro, show me that trick again?” it may backfire, but take that chance.

3. Bend over backwards. Just a little to get the crick out of your shoulders. I didn’t mean bend over backwards to get spanked.

4. Smell the flowers. You may not have flowers around, dude. In which case, get yourself some perfume.

5. Tidy up your space. I know, you will collect that paper, magazine, book, leaflet... you paper junkie. But, throw this lot to make space for the new one, capiche?

6. Sharing is caring. Always give tips to others, even if it asks of you a great deal just now. Later, you will want to share, and no one will want to hear. So this is too good an opportunity to lose.

“Yeah, you did that so right!”

 

 

6 Tips for Learning on a Budget

by Rebecca Henderson

 

Life is all about learning!

Here are six of my tips on learning new things in a cost-effective way!

 

1. The Internet: With such a vast array of information, from the most common topics to the incredibly obscure, the Internet is a great place to find formal and informal knowledge on a wealth of subjects. Granted, the information is arguably to be taken with a grain of salt, depending on the source, but nevertheless, the Internet is a great place to start your search on whatever you may want to learn about. Find groups who are talking about your interests, follow blogs, and join the conversation!

2. Auditing College Classes: Most colleges will offer classes that you can audit for free or a small charge. Being surrounded by others who are interested in your same topic and who also have their own set of knowledge is a great way not only to find out more information, but network as well. Study groups anyone?

3. Library: In my opinion, the library is the most underrated resource of them all. Libraries hold more information than you could ever imagine, all for free! Check out books, movies, audio books, etc., to learn more about your interests. Some libraries even belong to a network, where they have access to other libraries and allow their patrons to request materials from these off-site locations. Resources can now be found online as well, and legitimacy is less of an option in most cases if research is done this way. Scholarly articles must go through numerous channels before being published.

4. Online courses: Many websites offer free or trial-offer-based learning. I am a member of LinkedIn, and it is there that I’ve watched a multitude of videos on a variety of topics. Lynda.com is also a great resource, and often a Google search will pull up many websites dedicated to online learning. Some will even offer a choice of certificates or other authorization of completion, which is a great accomplishment to include on any resume!

5. YMCA: While it is certainly more limited to topics and skills, your local YMCA is a great place to get kids involved in learning, and encourage physical activity at the same time! Whether it’s swimming lessons, a variety of sports, or even pottery, the skills learned at a YMCA teach discipline, dedication, and many other life skills. In some ways an alternative to classroom learning, classes at a YMCA often give children a place to simply explore and learn, all at the same time!

6. Internships and Volunteering: Geared more towards young adults and anyone looking to advance their career, internships and volunteer work give hands-on opportunities to those who are looking for a glimpse into a specific career or field. Whether it’s for a resume or simply to give back to your community, internships and volunteering are a great way to gain experience and explore the various aspects of jobs, opportunities, and organizations.

 

 

The Honourable Lady Philomena Partington-Smythe’s Six Steps On How To Deal With A Crisis While Baking A Lemon Drizzle Cake

by Shirley Muir

 

1. If your cake is still baking when disaster strikes, seek out your oven manual and read the ‘setting the timer’ instructions.  Set the timer so your cake will be finished even if you have to abandon your place in the kitchen before that time.

2. Leave a fire extinguisher by the oven if you are unable to set the timer properly. Do not switch off the oven if your cake is still cooking. See 1.

3. If you are obliged to vacate the premises, brush any stray flour off your open recipe book and close it, marking the page with a tasteful bookmark. (Mine is a portrait of Her Majesty The Queen). Keep the recipe book safe as you want to avoid someone stealing it in order to copy your recipe.

4. Close the kitchen doors and windows so there is no unwanted draught to fan any flames in the event of a fire.  If the house is on fire call the fire service.

5. If catastrophe befalls during inclement weather collect your Wellington boots, a waterproof coat and an umbrella on the way out. Do take your house key. Make sure the servants are aware that they must not desert their posts.

6. If you have to leave the house, seek out a large shopping bag (your maid will direct you) and carefully select from the larder all the ingredients listed in your recipe. You will need these if your kitchen is destroyed and you are forced to bake a second lemon drizzle cake to replace the lost one.

 

 

6 gardening tips

by Melisa Quigley

 

1. Put a saucer under your potted cyclamen and put water on the saucer to feed it. If you water the plant from the top you’ll kill the plant.

2. Once cooled, use the water from your steamed vegies to feed your potted plants.

3. Always wear gloves to protect your hands and wear sunscreen and a hat in summer.

4. Grow rose cuttings in a potato and pop the potato in the ground. The potato keeps the cutting moist while it’s growing.

5. Marigolds keep insects away and are good to plant around a vegie patch.

6. To keep birds pecking the soil and plants in your garden put gum tree branches that form a Y shape around your borders/plants.

 

 

Six Needlepoint Tips for the Novice

by Martha Patterson

 

1. Never knot the yarn. The yarn should be caught behind the first three or four stitches you make on the canvas. Knotting causes lumps and is simply not the way fine needlework is done.

2. Don’t pull the yarn too tight. Draw the yarn through the canvas just enough for the yarn to be snug without any strain.

3. Keep nail scissors handy for cutting yarn - they often work better than a large pair of shears, and have a supply of at least three or four needles. They sometimes break, and there are few things more exasperating than being unable to continue work on your beloved project because the eye of the needle has broken - which it may, from sheer use.

4. Store your unfinished work and yarn in a plastic or fabric stitchery case or a basket. You don’t want it collecting dust before it’s even finished!

5. Shop online if you can’t get to a store: Herrschner’s, Glorafilia, and Bucilla are good brands to try, and there are many others. Check their websites frequently because new items continually come in stock.

6. If you are handy with design, you can always buy a blank piece of tapestry canvas at a sewing supply shop and design your own project. Use waterproof inks or paints to draw your pattern onto the canvas first. The ink must be waterproof, because the finished tapestry needs to be dampened and stretched back to size; working a piece diagonally, as most needlepoint stitching is done, stretches it somewhat out of shape. Too, you may eventually want to have the piece dry cleaned after using it for a while - so ink that won’t run is important to use in creating your design.

 

 

Six Tips on Learning to Play the Guitar

by Martha Patterson

 

1. A few months’ worth of lessons is a good investment, because you will learn not only basic chords but also strumming rhythms and a little bit about picking strings. Look for ads for teachers in local newspapers or on CraigsList (http://boston.craigslist.org/muc/).

2. After a few months, you may find you are happy exploring your instrument on your
own. Even if you are 50 years old and no longer aspire to be a rock star, you can still have fun playing on your own and with friends.

3. An acoustic guitar is thought by many as the first guitar one should own. They are suitable for playing softly in an apartment and don’t require an amplifier. But electric guitars can be played loud, and if you ever dreamed of imitating Jimi Hendrix you may want to start off with one of those.

4. Look around your city for music stores. Daddy’s Junky Music in Boston (159 Massachusetts Avenue, The Hynes Convention Center stop on the T) is one resource to try for an instrument. A decent used acoustic guitar or an electric guitar can be purchased there for $100-200 and will get you started.

5. There is nothing wrong with buying a used guitar – think of your instrument as having had “a history.” Another resource to try online for buying your “axe” is Musician’s Friend (http://www.musiciansfriend.com/), where new guitar packages including small amplifiers and a gig bag (a soft carrying case for the guitar) can be bought for as little as $200, and shipped to your home address.

6. Songbooks bought online will teach you new material and will have chord charts to help you learn your old favorites. And with a little practice you will find yourself cranking out tunes of your own.

 

published 23 January 2017 

 

to top of page