Pure Slush

flash ... without the wank

Bargain Rate: Special Gifts

<  Meditation on MS

by Martin Heavisides   Which Face Today?  >

 

I have secret and universal powers, far beyond the average man. I have a cock like an ever-ready battery and business concerns that keep churning money money money round the clock. You know what I mean, you know how it is: time zones, erotic zones, when people talk about fluid capital they aren’t just whistling Dixie. What you pick up for a dime, you move to another part of town or the world, sell it for a dollar. Maybe even more when you figure in rates of exchange. Do that often enough it adds up, but you can’t let ’em catch you napping. Pinch the right bottoms for luck, but bone up on harassment regulations where you happen to be at the moment. I know, I’ve had a few settlements that never should have come up.

I have telepathic vision. Few people even understand what that is and I’m certainly not one of them, so it’s difficult to explain. The science of this is in its infancy. You’d be amazed, though, how much it helps with contract negotiations. On the minus side? it burdens you with frightening secrets of the universal human heart, but what can you do? Everything in life is a trade-off one way or another. Throbbing pink wound – sorry, don’t know where that came from. Disregard.

My skin doubles as a radar unit. Actually I think this is true of everyone but few have seen and developed this potential. This and many others, but the good news is you can develop them all yourself through my actualization courses. Accept no substitutes! DEVELOP eyes that can stare down any competitor and instill unwarranted confidence in any business partner! Sexual partner too, wouldn’t you like to take the guesswork out of every chance encounter? NEVER sleep alone a single night unless by personal choice. LEARN tensing and flexing exercises, well known to horny elites from ancient times to the present day, that outperform Viagra without side effects or noxious chemical residue in the body! TURN failing businesses into irresistible investment packages long enough for you to sell off your interest and skedaddle! MASTER the ten graded handshakes that guarantee supremacy in all social and commercial situations - and precisely when to employ each! (These come with minor cultural variants you’ll discover when you’re ready to advance to the next level.) All this and much more – not a bad deal for $29.95 plus software expenses I’m sure you’ll agree. Our operators stand ever ready, night and day, to take your calls. As an added bonus for a limited time only – all our courses are guaranteed to generate total enlightenment eventually.

“With Fluid Capital YOU Can Impermeate The Universe!” 

 

published 12 April 2013