Pure Slush

flash ... without the wank

Cupid's Challenge

<  Don't Ask Me No Questions

by Joyce Juzwik        Assuaging the Clown  >


Sunset.  Night is beginning.  The only valuable time of every twenty-four.  People wear masks in the light of day to spread their lies and practice their deceit.  But, at night, in the darkness, their true colors emerge and the hearts and souls of all reveal the truths within.

You’re thinking I’m some kind of professor or magazine writer, aren’t you?  Well, no, I’m just an ordinary fellow who knows a lot about life.  In my job as night security at Bob’s Furniture Emporium on Highway 7, I spend hour upon hour reading educational materials to better myself, and to be prepared for when I find The One--my everlasting love.  My interviews for that special lady are conducted on my nights off.  As a matter of fact, last evening, I engaged in my latest screening.

This particular woman, she said her name was Millicent, was an out-of-towner passing through.  I cannot evaluate ladies from this area, since if they prove unsuitable, their disappearance would certainly raise concerns.  I invited Millicent to my trailer for a quick cocktail, then we took my car to Bob’s.  I bring all my dates there.  The Italian décor in the kitchenware department is perfect for a romantic dinner for two.  The French décor in the media department is delightfully cozy for viewing a new release and sipping fine wine.  Bob does know how to create the ideal atmosphere.

As sunrise approached, I dropped her off at the landfill at Peaks Crossing.  I assure you, she’d been dead within minutes of drinking the wine.  I wouldn’t want you to get the wrong impression, that I’m a mean person, and would subject her to the decay and coyotes that occasionally troll there for snacks as she lay dying.  As is my custom, I took her car to the recycle plant.  Old Danny doesn’t know what day of the week it is most times, so he’s never noticed the extra cars I bring.

My heart was broken.  She had been so friendly at Josie’s Diner where we met, but it had all been a cruel façade.  Because of the light, you see.  Later, after night had fallen, her truth had been shown to me.  She was selfish, demanding, and so ungrateful, just like all the others had been.  I had to give her a glass of wine from my special bottle.  You can see that, can’t you?

And so, my quest for eternal love continues.  If you’re ever in this area and feel the need for a quick bite, do stop in at Josie’s.  Make a right at the end of Exit 14A and pass the water tower.  Josie’s is next to the mini-mart.  She makes the best BLT’s in the state and her coffee is to die for.  You never know. I might be in the next booth.  Waiting.  For The One.  Play your cards right, and I’ll show you a night you’ll never forget.


published 8 June 2011