Pure Slush

flash ... without the wank

Swedish Labyrinth

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by Irene Buckler

Having previously failed because I was unable to resist the many temptations strategically placed along the way, this time I am determined to take the most direct route through the Swedish labyrinth, one with no dead ends or deviations. Spreading out the complicated diagram on a table, I carefully plan my mission, committing the exact directions to memory, but also making a note of them on a scrap of paper, just in case.

Keeping my eyes straight ahead, I enter with the crowd. Turning to the right, I stride out with uncompromising purpose, keeping to the outer perimeter until I take the second opportunity to turn left. Then it’s up the stairs and about face before left, left again and then right, bringing me to the next set of stairs, at the top of which, I turn right. Before continuing, I check my notes and confirm that I am nearing my goal. Just one quick turn to the left and I see myself in the mirrored walls and there it is, on display, just as shown in the catalogue – Item No. 502.530.71, the RÅGRUND Mirror, framed in hardwearing bamboo with knobs along one side for hanging jewellery.

I take my item and proceed immediately to the check-out. Success! Who says you can never find your way out of IKEA without buying a load of extra stuff you don’t really need?  


published 18 June 2016